The Lost Art of Conversation

It really is a lost art. We all like to talk, and I'm no exception. We have opinions on just about everything, and enjoy finding and celebrating the common ground we have with others. It's a natural, human reaction - we're social beings.

Now back in The Day, if you wanted to speak to a friend, you pick up the phone; if you want to reach a crowd, you get airspace or an auditorium. These have a few things in common - preparation, and forethought. Time was, you had at least a few minutes looking for a phone, because they were fixtures - with cords. If you wanted to let a bunch of your mates know what time and where you're meeting for dinner, you had to call each one, and engage in some practice of not only exchanging information, but interacting on a personal level; reading tones of voice and inflection, and really listening. If you went to hear someone speak or speak yourself, there was the practice of crafting the speech, and preparing the phrases that would ring truthfully for your audience.

We don't seem to do that anymore.

Of course, those in an official capacity still do it - there are still speechwriters and press agents, and when you run a meeting at the office, I would hope that you would come prepared and use notes. No, I'm talking about the casual conversations that used to evolve in dining rooms and cocktail parties in the days before easy technology. Remember when your aunts and uncles used to come over to your parents house and play cards all night, while all the cousins got put to bed in one bedroom together? The adults would talk, and argue, and laugh, and curse, and drink, and it was a great social experience.

We don't do that anymore either.

My siblings live out of town; I don't even know my neighbors, except to wave at. Occasionally if someone needs a hand, we share snowblowing tasks or help to push someone out of a snowbank, but that's really about it. I don't know that I would recognize most of them on the street, because I rarely see any of them.

Ok, you ask, what does any of this have to do with being a moderate, or a centrist?

It has to do with moderation, in every sense of the word. Being moderate in your habits, and in your views; even in moderating your actions and responses. Our modern world gives us a prime example, and one directly related to our Lost Art of Conversation. Tech is convenient, quick, and instantly satisfying. It's easy to twitter your instant reaction to any news story or situation...five seconds of frustration, excitement, vitriol, undying devotion, or whatever emotion or opinion you consider to be valid at any given moment. It also allows you to have no thought to whether or not you really should tell the world how you feel, without thinking or analysis. We can never know the impact our words will have on someone. The internet and all of its communication tools are ultimately completely anonymous - you can be anyone, anywhere. Click - and you've started something that may be harmful to someone, and you can't unclick it out of existence.

That being said, I am using the internet now as a way to socially interact with others who may or may not share the same general bias as myself. So what's the difference? Blog posting for me is painstaking. It takes forethought, and a desire to communicate coherently and intelligently. I do recognize that this is the way things are done in the world today - tech is here to stay. There are no more card parties or bowling nights, and our urban centers aren't quite as safe as they used to be - one bar-hops at their own risk. And for anyone with children, there's very little on the social calendar that doesn't involve PTA, dance class, or soccer practice.

But if you, like me and a few like-minded future contributors to this site, enjoy discourse and the exchange of differing opinions on a wide variety of topics, then welcome to the Cafe. I hope you'll join us often!